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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27073015">Letting Go</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/becki/pseuds/becki'>becki</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Dorks in Love, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Past Violence, Scars, but entrapta is there to comfort him because he needs it, hordak being his usual self-loathing self</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-09 00:55:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,471</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27073015</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/becki/pseuds/becki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Hordak isn’t exactly sure why he asked to see in the first place.</p><p>It’s not as if there’s anything he can do about it. It’s not as if there’s anything to fix. It had happened, it had healed (or so Entrapta says), and that’s that. There’s no treatment to be done, no way to reverse it.</p><p>The scar on Entrapta’s back from being tased that one day back in the Fright Zone is permanent, and so is the overall pain - both emotional and physical  - that had been inflicted.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Entrapta/Hordak (She-Ra)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>135</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Letting Go</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i’m not sure where exactly i heard this concept, but i’ve seen some talk in the entrapdak community about entrapta having a scar on her back from catra tasing her. so, here’s a short little fic about the concept, inspired by day 17: “worries” for entrapdak positivity month (made by tallysgreatestfan)</p><p>also, as you probably already know, CW for scars. its not a self harm scar, but i wanted to include the possible trigger warning just in case &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Hordak isn’t exactly sure why he asked to see in the first place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s not as if there’s anything he can do about it. It’s not as if there’s anything to fix. It had happened, it had healed (or so Entrapta says), and that’s that. There’s no treatment to be done, no way to reverse it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The scar on Entrapta’s back from being tased that one day back in the Fright Zone is permanent, and so is the overall pain - both emotional and physical - that had been inflicted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Regardless, when Hordak first heard about it a few days after the war ended - during the same time they finally talked everything out about what had transpired between them with the portal and Beast Island and all those grave misunderstandings - he couldn’t help but ask to at least see it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He still isn’t certain </span>
  <em>
    <span>why</span>
  </em>
  <span> he’s so curious - perhaps it’s to confirm with his own eyes that it hadn’t severely damaged her fragile skin, or perhaps it’s a way to finally acknowledge the overall pain that had been caused that day she was sent away from him. Perhaps it’s even a way to leave the past behind him and all the false betrayal that had been built up between them, all because of this dreaded tase, all because of Catra’s actions that day. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still. It doesn't really make sense why he wants to see it. He just does.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And so now, about a month or so after initially asking, Entrapta has finally sat down before him to let him see.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She’s facing away from him on the bed, her small body encased between Hordak’s legs that rest outstretched in front of both of them atop the mattress. She, on the other hand, sits criss-crossed as she so often prefers with her hands folded carefully in her lap, and her lavender pigtails cascade down her back and drape overtop her and Hordak’s legs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Clothing wise, her overall straps have been taken off her shoulders, leaving the bib of the garment bunched up in her waist instead of covering her chest as she has usually been wearing it lately. She also removed her arm covers prior, leaving only her white tee as an upper body garment. Her purple mask and worn gloves are still dressed upon her though, as per usual.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you sure you want to see it?” she pipes up in a soft tone, blinking Hordak back to a sudden reality. She turns her head to the side to make direct eye contact with him, and the air falls heavy between them. “It’s not that pretty to look at.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hordak swallows. He nods.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She shrugs a bit before turning her head forward again, breaking their shared gaze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright. Whatever you say.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With that said, she begins to pull her shirt up and off her body. Once it’s finally stripped, she places it in a crumpled heap in front of them on the bed - never folded, never neat as is usual with her and her belongings. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now stripped of her shirt, and with the overall bib pulled down to her waist and arm coverings removed, her back is bare and completely exposed save for her long pigtails that still obstruct most of it. Hordak watches as tiny goosebumps form on the exposed skin in the chilly air, though within a few seconds, they fade away. The visible skin on her back is perfectly smooth, almost flawless. It’s nothing like the skin of her forearms or hands where Hordak has caught sight of various scars and abnormalities, most likely due to failed lab experiments and other such accidents. Here, it’s completely devoid of any sign of injury.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At least, so far as he can see.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So now, drawing in a breath, Hordak gets a loose hold on Entrapta’s two pigtails. Carefully, he pushes the silky hair away, resting them both overtop her left shoulder to leave her entire back exposed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And that’s when he sees the scar.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His heart stops dead in his chest at the sight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It’s...not pretty. Not at all. Just as Entrapta had said, and just as he had been warned. It’s in the center of her back, though low enough that the back window between her arm coverings and white tee that usually reveals her skin would show no sight of it. If someone were to see her on a regular basis, they would never know.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hordak narrows his eyes, studying it further. The scar is colored a stark darker hue than the rest of her skin, and he sees the faint ridges that form the destroyed tissue raised up a bit compared the rest of her healthy skin. Its shape is completely abnormal - there’s a large center, probably the part of her back that took the most impact of the laser’s fierce beams, while the rest of the scar branches off into strange zig-zag patterns, almost akin to a lightning design. They don’t stretch too far, remaining close to the center of the scar, but they still are wide enough to take up a portion of her back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hordak sucks in a deep breath. He raises a claw, hovering it overtop the scar but hesitant to make direct touch.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I touch it?” he asks, his words gentle. Unsure.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She nods. “Yeah, yeah. Go for it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With her consent, he runs his claw lightly overtop the scar, tracing the various patterns. The tissue is bumpy and raised a bit just as he had previously observed, and it feels strange against his own fingertips. It feels almost foreign, so contrasting to the rest of her soft skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Does it hurt?” Hordak asks, keeping his touch gentle in case. “I do not wish to hurt you, Entrapta.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She quickly shakes her head, saying, “No, not anymore. It completely stopped hurting, uhhh, I think about a month afterwards? It was really bad the first week, though. That wasn’t fun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hordak stops, dead in his movements.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He draws his claw away, so sudden almost as it fire had been set to it. Some kind of strange feeling builds up in his chest at Entrapta‘s words - a tightness it seems, clutching at his heart and twisting it in awful ways. He looks away, trying to fight the sudden feeling away, but it grows, tighter and tighter and more and more painful.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because all he can imagine is Entrapta on that dreaded island after being tased to unconsciousness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All alone in pain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He tried not to think about it for a while after Entrapta had first told him what happened, explaining in detail how everything went down. He also shared his side of the story back then, expressing how he was lied to by Catra. And with all that said, all was righted between them. No miscommunication anymore - they had a future to look forward to instead. And so, he tried to push away the past, the guilt, the </span>
  <em>
    <span>pain </span>
  </em>
  <span>from all that occurred from this one tase, this one lie from his trusted Force Captain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But, now?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It stares at him, dead in the eyes. The visual manifestation of it all sits right before him, as darker skin and branched off patterns and raised ridges of damaged tissue. It’s all right here, mocking and berating and nauseating him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And to hear she had been in pain? To think of her waking up on Beast Island, having been abandoned yet again as she so often was and so often hated. And to imagine her simply waiting and waiting and </span>
  <em>
    <span>waiting</span>
  </em>
  <span> aimlessly for Hordak to come for her until the waiting became too much, and the statistics of his arrival became too low.</span>
</p><p><span>All while Hordak wallowed in a worthless pile of self-pity in his sanctum, believing lies that had been told to him, believing that Entrapta had left</span> <span>him for the princesses and their rebellion.</span></p><p>
  <span>The guilt all comes upon him in an overwhelming wave. The more he stares at the scar, the more it stares back at him, more and more and more-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hordak?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hordak snaps to attention, eyes flicking up. And that’s when he notices that Entrapta had turned her head at some point, looking back at him with those ruby red eyes full of nothing but concern, nothing but sorrow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are you okay?” she asks, voice softer than he had ever heard before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hordak swallows the painful lump in his throat. He tears his eyes away - away from her gaze, away from her scar, away from anywhere but </span>
  <em>
    <span>here.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I am...sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His lip starts to tremble. He bites it. But it doesn’t stop.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...Sorry?” Entrapta asks. He can still feel her heavy gaze on him, but he refuses to meet it. “Sorry for what?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“For...For this, for...everything,” he pours out, trying to keep his voice steady but failing badly in doing so. It cracks and wavers, and his ears droop, ashamed at his frailty and ashamed at the awful emotions rampaging within him that are destroying his composure.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You didn’t do this, though,” she says, and Hordak can see her cock her head to the side of out the corner of his eye. “It was Catra, remember? She was the one who tased me. You didn’t.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I left you to die, Entrapta!” Hordak shouts, his head snapping up and eyes finally locking with hers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The air stills around them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Entrapta’s expression falls. Sadness and confusion warp her features, and the sight of it stabs pain into Hordak’s heart. She bites the one side of her lip, as if hesitating on her words, and Hordak watches as she begins to fiddle with her gloved fingers - something she does when stressed, he’s learned by now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She does a little shake of her head before finally speaking. “What? Hordak, we talked about this. You didn’t know what happened. Catra lied to you and-“</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I should not have believed her. I should have trusted</span>
  <em>
    <span> you</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Hordak begins in a rush, feeling whatever composure he had left leave him with each shaky word spoken. “Instead, I simply sat around like a fool, feeling sorry for </span>
  <em>
    <span>myself</span>
  </em>
  <span>, while you were in pain and hurting and all </span>
  <em>
    <span>alone </span>
  </em>
  <span>on that cursed island. I should have been there. I should have known, I…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His words trail away at that when he doesn’t know what else to say or even </span>
  <em>
    <span>how </span>
  </em>
  <span>to say it. Guilt tightens up his throat, and the terrible pit making home in his stomach is not helping matters. All he can simply do is stare at Entrapta while she stares back - red colliding with ruby.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He watches as a tendril of hair reaches up towards the tip of her mask, ready to flick it down in a second and protect her expression. However, she suddenly glances up at the hair strand and pulls it away; she seems to not even have realized she had gotten prepared to flick it down, almost like some sort of ingrained instinct to do so under these tense situations.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But, instead, she maintains eye contact. Keeps her face - and expression - able to be seen. It’s all very unlike her, making Hordak feel even </span>
  <em>
    <span>worse </span>
  </em>
  <span>that she’s trying for his sake even though he knows this entire situation is certainly uncomfortable for her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s not your fault,” is all she says in the end, words hardly above a whisper.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hordak looks down at his lap. He can still feel her eyes on him, can still see the scarred tissue on her back in his peripheral gaze. But he ignores it all, instead focusing on his hands in his lap as if there’s anything interesting there worth staring at. They both know there’s nothing, of course.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All of a sudden, a blur of familiar lavender appears in his field of vision. And before he knows what’s happening, a soft strand of hair reaches under his chin and lightly lifts it up, thus bringing his eyes back up to lock with hers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean that,” she says. Her tone is packed with a bit more strength, a bit more punch, though it’s tender all the same. “Please believe me, Hordak. You don’t need to apologize.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hordak doesn’t react at first, terribly conflicted with his internal feelings. But the longer Entrapta’s gentle gaze stares at him, the longer he feels the softness of her hair still underneath his chin, the more he feels the tight tension in his heart start to lessen. Just a bit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the end, he simply nods.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I understand.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Entrapta suddenly begins to shift in her place, turning her body around to fully face him. She sits on top of her legs, her body still encased between Hordak’s two legs on top of the mattress. And all he can think as he stares down at her is how small, how tender she looks before him. Her gaze is as soft as ever, her expression inviting all the same, and Hordak can’t help the blossom of fondness that gushes within him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please don’t worry about me,” she adds. “I’m okay. Everything’s okay now. We’re together, aren’t we?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hordak nods. He lets himself smile a bit, albeit sadly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, we are.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At that, Entrapta’s hair loosely wraps around them, trapping them both in luscious locks of purple. She raises her body up a bit, just enough to reach Hordak’s lips with her own, and she kisses him gently as she so often does. Hordak’s eyes close, relishing in the familiar softness, the familiar warmth to those lips he’s kissed many times before. Every time is just as sweet, and every time leaves him aching for more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But instead of retreating back, Entrapta fully wraps her arms around Hordak in an embrace. Her hair wraps around him tighter as well - on instinct or consciously, he isn’t sure. All he knows is that he enjoys the feeling of security it brings, being wrapped up in that unique hair of hers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hordak hugs her back. He holds her tight and secure, feeling her warm, bare skin against his body. His hands rest on her back, and they lightly graze over the familiar ridges of her scar.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But, as difficult as it is, he tries not to let the guilt overwhelm him. Instead, he focuses on Entrapta’s familiar heartbeat against his chest, on the feeling of her smooth skin against his body, on the sensation of comfort and fondness that bloom within him for being so close in her presence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He doesn’t need to worry, despite the grim voice that lives deep in his mind that tries to overwhelm any rational thinking with fears and worries and pain. Despite the past and everything that had occurred before they were reunited. Despite </span>
  <em>
    <span>all </span>
  </em>
  <span>of that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Entrapta is safe and content in his arms, and that’s the most he could have ever asked for.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thanks for reading! i hope you enjoyed :)</p><p>(come say hello on tumblr! i’m beckkii over there)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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